It's Like A Rollar Coaster
by criesbloodredtears
Summary: Numbness, a miss of feeling. A calling. Hichigo hated it when it rained. HichigoXIchigo. One shot.
1. Life is Like a Rollar Coaster

**IT'S LIKE A ROLLER COASTER**

WARNING: YAOI, FLUFF, AND MEANINGLESSNESS, NO LIKE NO READ.

_I DO NOT OWN BLEACH OR THE CHARACTERS._

Ichigo stared at his ceiling feeling, the slivers of depression sink into his mind. He stretched his arms above his head, fingers stretching higher, wide open, as if waiting for someone to grab them and drag him from this darkness creeping at the back of his mind. He heard a deep sigh in his mind and sat up slowly, blinking in confusion.

"_I hate it when it rains, King."_

Ichigo shifted his position to look in the mirror. His inside out self looked back at him with gold eyes. Ichigo gazed at his other self with no emotion, having felt none in a while. The other's pale complexion and bleached hair stood out in an odd way and with his usual crazed grin lacking it seemed as though it was a different person standing in his inner world. He could see in the back ground that rain poured in rivets, coating his white self, making his white robes stick to his body.

"Why is it raining?" Ichigo asked in a slow voice that didn't sound like his own.

Hichigo gave the other boy a sad look. "_It rains because of you, King. What are you so depressed about?"_

Ichigo actually thought about this question. His eyes took on a glazed look and he sifted through his heart as for why he was so caught up in this negative emotion. Flashes of his friends came to the front of his mind. Renji grinned at him over his shoulder as he defeated a hollow. Rukia let a small smile escape as she argued with Ganju. More and more people flashed through his mind's eye. He cared for all of them in different ways, some more than others, but as he viewed these people, he realized that he loved none of them. A frown came to his lips as he realized - he had never really loved anyone.

Could this be why his heart wretched in pain every time he even thought of the word? Why his soul was crying out? He let out a sigh and looked back at his pale reflection, watching as white hair fell into curious golden eyes.

"I am lost." He closed his eyes and sighed, Hichigo waited for the boy to continue, sensing there was more. "I think...My soul is crying out for something, maybe someone. I feel incomplete, as if a part of me is missing and a huge hole is where it should be. I think I'm trying to call out to someone and if I don't get an answer soon...I'll die of sorrow and rejection."

Ichigo opened glinting brown eyes and looked at his other half. Hichigo's skin seemed to be even paler than before, his breathing erratic. Ichigo opened his mouth to ask if the other boy was okay when everything went black. He opened panicked eyes seconds later to realize he was in a mind of no gravity and blue buildings, and it was raining. He looked around and found Hichigo not even a foot away and stalked towards him angrily.

"What the hell?!" Ichigo closed his mouth as the other boy turned around to face him.

His face was contorted with anguish. His breathing was still uneven and rushed. He took a wobbly step towards Ichigo but fell to his knees and grabbed his chest with a whimper. Concerned and confused, Ichigo ran to the boy and dropped to his knees in front of him; his hands grabbing the boy's shoulders.

"What's wrong? What's happening?" He searched the other's face for a sign, for anything.

One gold eye squinted open to look at him. "_Ichi-Ichigo..." _He took another ragged breath. "_You're calling so loudly, it hurts, King. Hurts in my ..." _He gasped again. "_You're in so much pain, King, pain." _He whimpered again and Ichigo's eyes brows knitted together in confusion. His heart hurt watching Hichigo go through this pain. He searched his mind for the answer, then his eyes widened in realization.

"You...you feel it too? You can feel the pain?" Ichigo's eyes widened to their fullest as he searched the others face for confirmation. When he got a slight nod, he balked, sitting back on the ground, bringing the other boy with him. Hichigo sat in his arms trying to stifle the pain, shaking with the effort.

Ichigo tried to wrap his mind around what this meant. He closed his eyes and clung to the lithe boy in his arms, tears trying to escape. This couldn't be right, this couldn't be happening. No, no no no no NO! His eyes opened, and he looked down at the quivering mass in his arms and smiled sadly.

"Hichigo, I'm sorry. I didn't realize that my soul was trying to call me a mate. I'm sorry I didn't realize that this would call the one person..." His lips quivered. "The one person that I wouldn't want to live without." Hichigo paused in his pain. His gold eyes looked up at Ichigo with confusion and something that the other boy couldn't place.

"_You...wouldn't want to live without me? Why?" _The other boy's eyes were suspicious.

Ichigo let a sad smile escape as he looked at the clearing sky. "I think of all the things I've been through with you, all the fights, the struggles, the emotions. How every time I needed someone, no matter the reason, you were there, whether you wanted to or not, you taught me who I was and why I wanted to be that person so badly." Hichigo looked up at his king, watched the happy smile on his face, and his eyes widening with realization. "When I think about the people I care for, the ones I would die for, there is a long list, but when I think of the people I wouldn't...no, the ones I couldn't live without...the only face that comes to my mind is...yours." Ichigo smiled down at his counterpart and his brown eyes lit with an emotion neither one really understood.

Hichigo met Ichigo's smile with a tentative one of his own and wrapped his arms around the tanner teen's neck.

"_It's about time you made it stop raining, King," _he whispered into the boy's strawberry hair.

He felt the movement in Ichigo's chest as the boy laughed. The boy held him tighter and Hichigo returned the gesture with relish.

"To be loved..." whispered Ichigo. "I wonder what it's going to be like."

It was Hichigo's turn to laugh now. "_Like a roller coaster, Chief. It's unpredictable, and it will contain many ups and downs and a few loopy loops, but in the end it was worth it and fun as hell."_

They smiled at each other and laughed. Ichigo had a feeling that the hole in his chest would not be back, and that his very own roller coaster ride would be the best experience of his entire life.

AN: Okay guys this was my first Bleach fic...even though I've been wanting to write one for the longest time, but I've had the WORST writer's block. Hope you all enjoyed and tell me if I should continue, but I only will if I get 7 or more people telling me to, otherwise there is no point. Why seven you ask? Cause it's my favorite number!!! X3 terhe!


	2. Being Understood

Being Understood

I do not own Bleach or any of the characters

Liquid brown eyes stared up into sky, stars twinkled in and out of existence. Tan hands played idly in the grass and dew dripped off lithe fingers slowly. A great sigh was heaved and a shudder ran through the boy's tall frame as the cold finally hit him. He sat up slowly, wincing as muscles moved in strained silence.

Ichigo Kurosaki, assistant Shinigami, smiled brightly at the twinkling sky. He stood up in one languid movement and rested his hands on his hips. His hands then swung happily at his sides as he walked in long steps towards the lights of town. The smile on the young boy's face was full of love and wonder, his eyes gleamed with renewed vigor, his walk held a new bounce.

Rukia Kuchiki and Renji Abarai watched the happy young man walk with looks of confusion. Just the night before the boy was unresponsive, depressed, and they could not get a word from him. They watched him walk happily and wondered silently what had happened to make such a drastic change.

Ichigo, oblivious to his concerned friends, was having a silent conversation in his mind, not the first that he had had with the Hollow that resided inside of him.

"_Hey, Ichigo, what do you think we can do in our new found feelings? I mean, what can we do with them?" _ The tan boy couldn't hold in the chuckle that overcame him. "_What? What did I say that was so funny?" _ Ichigo heard the actual confusion in the other's voice and answered, out loud.

"Well, we're not supposed to do anything but enjoy them. That's what the feeling of love is for, to enjoy, to marvel in, to bask in. Don't worry Hichigo, I'm sure that you'll figure it out." The smile stayed on his face even as his hollow self muttered about how he didn't understand.

Ichigo knew that his other half did not understand the feelings inside of him, he was a Hollow after all. He felt saddened greatly by the thought that he could not enjoy what he was. He sighed and smiled sadly. If only he could make him understand. Ichigo had spent the last day and a half trying to explain to the pale man what the feeling were, why they were there and what he could do with them.

He felt slightly depressed at how the Hollow just didn't understand, he tried, he really did but he just couldn't grasp the concept of love. He looked up at the sky and closed his eyes, concentrating on listening to his friends on the rooftop above, he also concentrated on the familiar aura of Urahara-san getting closer.

Rukia and Renji were even more confused then before. Who could Ichigo possibly be talking to? They looked at each other in confusion.

"He's talking to his inner Hollow, his name is apparently Hichigo." Both the Shinigami fell face forward in shock at the voice of the stealthy blonde.

"What hollow Urahara-san?" Rukia gave him a slight glare of suspicion.

Urahara sighed slightly and slumped. "Kurosaki-kun has a Hollow inside of him form his transformation to a Shinigami before he came to save you. We had thought that we would have to kill him because of the hollow consuming his body, but he ripped off his own mask and became what we both know, the captain class substitute Shinigami Ichigo Kurosaki." Urahara sighed again as if this bored him greatly. Rukia's eyes twitched in irritation. "It seems that the Hollow continues to reside within him, and has somehow bonded with Kurosaki-kun. Somehow the two have connected and developed feelings for one another. I do wonder, however, how this could be accomplished. The only thing a Hollow can feel is hate and anger, possibly greed and lust."

"Couldn't it just be the Hollows continued contact with Ichigo that caused him to have feelings? After all Ichigo is a very emotional person." Urahara and Rukia both stared at the redhead in awe at the semi-intelligent statement.

"Well...I suppose if a Hollow were exposed to a persons strong feeling for so long that they could become affected." He turned around and inspected the very still strawberry.

"You know I really appreciate you guys being so concerned for me. I can take care of myself however, and I understand perfectly what Hichigo can and cannot feel, we share the same heart you know. I'll be fine, I promise, you have to let me do this on my own." He turned the affect of those liquid brown eyes on them, they all felt and saw the seriousness portrayed in them.

"Ichigo, how could you possibly contain feelings for a Hollow? One inside of you non the less." Rukia's confused eyes met brown.

"He was the only one who completely understood me, and he is still that person, for you to have to ask that proves that further to me." Ichigo's eyes saddened slightly to a dimmer brown.

"Ichigo think about this, he's a Hollow! Do you even know what love is like? How could you possibly know, you're so young!" Rukia held disbelief and denial in her eyes, maybe even repulsion.

Ichigo sighed deeply. "Love is like a roller coaster Rukia. You go through bumps and loops and you're scared the entire time, but exhilarated at the same time. Friendship is like that too, but with less fear and more bumps. I...I need to take these bumps on my own power, I may piss my pants at the loops, but at least I wont fall out. It will be worth the fear and the loops, even the bumps for the end product of stepping off of the ride with someone by my side, someone who will understand everything I do. Someone who will love me for whatever reasons, even if they aren't good enough for anyone but me." He smiled blissfully at all of them and all doubts drowned away with the sadness in those eyes.

He looked towards his friends and knew they didn't understand, but he could feel inside him that Hichigo did, and that was all that mattered to him. With his smile still in place he turned, hands swinging at his sides happily again. He whistled a happy tune and swaggered his hips a bit to the tune.

Rukia and Renji didn't understand how Ichigo could love a Hollow, they didn't understand that Hichigo really could feel everything that Ichigo could, they didn't understand how finding love could put such a swagger in your step. What they did understand was that Ichigo was happy, he was convinced, and he was in love. That's all that mattered to them, even if they didn't understand.

"_I fell in love with such a sap." _ Ichigo laughed again at the words of his other half, he knew that the statement that made complete sense to him had explained it to Hichigo as well, after all they were very similar.

A/N: So. . .I had gotten more then 7 reviews (shocking as it was, TT thank you!) I however took forever to write another one. The reason for this was that. . .well to tell the truth I like other pairings more then this one now...(bashful) I am sorry for reforming! I know this is short and probably not satisfactory for you and I apologize!! FORGIVE ME!! (gets on knees and pleas forgiveness) and excuse my spelling, I have a good vocab but can't spell worth beans. . .XP.


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